It is the worst time in 18 months. It’s time for me to upgrade my phone. This is stupidly stressful for the following reasons
- Nowadays, a phone is much more than a phone. A phone is a camera, a phone is a photo editor, a phone is an all around internet machine. In fact, I hardly ever call people from my phone – at least, not compared to the amount of people I tweet from my phone. So, it’s important that my new phone can do the things (you know, the ones my old phone did perfectly well this whole while).
- Everyone has an opinion; camp iPhone, camp Android. Those poor souls that have windows phones. Everyone has an opinion on what phone you should get and will judge you based on what you end up with. Furthermore, whenever next my new phone goes on the blink (probably because I’ve dropped it for about the millionth time) there’s always that asshole who goes “well, you shoulda got a *insert phone and model here*”. Whatta jerk.
- All of the networks want to force me into a 24 month contract. I can’t even commit to breakfast cereal, how can I commit to the same phone for TWO WHOLE YEARS?
- The pressure to get an iPhone. Should I? Shouldn’t I? It sure would be nice to sync my phone to my laptop, but do I really want to be that much of an apple fangirl? And, let’s not ignore the overarching guilt that this is all just the biggest and most awful first world problem.
Conclusion: phones are stupid, I’m reverting back to snail mail.
Being born the right side of the 90s, I think it’s fair to say I can navigate my way around a Skype call. However, things are not always clear-cut, and even though on the scale of caveman – technical support I rank at about apple store “genius” (far enough away from have-you-tried-turning-it-off-an-on-again to walk into a tech store without trepidation, but yet close enough to not want to touch anything for the duration of my visit) there were, and continue to be, things that utterly surpass my capabilities.
Here’s a list of five them (plus commentary):
- I can’t remember my passwords, for anything – ever. I guess it works in the sense that some of my accounts are so secure that even I can’t get into them. This also remains to be the (initial) reason I abandoned my myspace all those years ago, and why I can only access my twitter account on my phone. I’m also deeply distrustful of those applications that store ALL of the passwords for you because of reasons.
- I don’t understand e-mail etiquette, this has be exhibited in recent times (the last month) when I signed off an e-mail to my Msc project supervisor with the phrase “catch you on the flip” because my usual “many thanks” wasn’t applicable. I just didn’t know what to say and decided that spending twenty minutes thinking about it was just not conducive to a good time.
- Since the rise of cross-platform mobile messaging (i.e. whatsapp), I’ve forgotten how to send text messages, the XXXXXs no longer exist. The need to proof read no longer exists, everything is more-or-less real time messaging and I am never going back… Although I deeply consider it whenever my whatsapp subscription expires. Also, this means that on the odd occasion I do actually have to send a text message, it’s not one – it’s five in quick succession.
- I have to re-learn how to take a screenshot on my mac everytime I do it, because there’s no physical button for it and when I have to press more than one key at the same time my lazy brain doesn’t like it.
- For about a week when I joined gmail, I couldn’t figure out how to send an email, not for any other reason than being unable to locate the ‘compose’ button on my screen. My eyes just glossed over it even though it was right under the logo. I had to ask my sister.
I guess I’ll catch you on the flip,