- Don’t you fucking sneeze
- Respect the fact that this liner is obviously terrified of being too close to your lash line
- Wings are sisters, not twins
- If at first you don’t succeed, try a daytime smoky eye instead
- What the fuck did I just say about sneezing?
Being born the right side of the 90s, I think it’s fair to say I can navigate my way around a Skype call. However, things are not always clear-cut, and even though on the scale of caveman – technical support I rank at about apple store “genius” (far enough away from have-you-tried-turning-it-off-an-on-again to walk into a tech store without trepidation, but yet close enough to not want to touch anything for the duration of my visit) there were, and continue to be, things that utterly surpass my capabilities.
Here’s a list of five them (plus commentary):
- I can’t remember my passwords, for anything – ever. I guess it works in the sense that some of my accounts are so secure that even I can’t get into them. This also remains to be the (initial) reason I abandoned my myspace all those years ago, and why I can only access my twitter account on my phone. I’m also deeply distrustful of those applications that store ALL of the passwords for you because of reasons.
- I don’t understand e-mail etiquette, this has be exhibited in recent times (the last month) when I signed off an e-mail to my Msc project supervisor with the phrase “catch you on the flip” because my usual “many thanks” wasn’t applicable. I just didn’t know what to say and decided that spending twenty minutes thinking about it was just not conducive to a good time.
- Since the rise of cross-platform mobile messaging (i.e. whatsapp), I’ve forgotten how to send text messages, the XXXXXs no longer exist. The need to proof read no longer exists, everything is more-or-less real time messaging and I am never going back… Although I deeply consider it whenever my whatsapp subscription expires. Also, this means that on the odd occasion I do actually have to send a text message, it’s not one – it’s five in quick succession.
- I have to re-learn how to take a screenshot on my mac everytime I do it, because there’s no physical button for it and when I have to press more than one key at the same time my lazy brain doesn’t like it.
- For about a week when I joined gmail, I couldn’t figure out how to send an email, not for any other reason than being unable to locate the ‘compose’ button on my screen. My eyes just glossed over it even though it was right under the logo. I had to ask my sister.
I guess I’ll catch you on the flip,