#48 Pantalaimon

I often wonder what adult form my dæmon would choose, in the conditions provided from Pullman’s His Dark Materials and should such things be actual tangible characters. I talk about it as an ‘actual character’, in reference to a real world representation of the being, if we’re honest a companion who’s a manifestation of your own soul probably already presently exists as your working mind. The place you cast your thoughts, paint your daydreams and throw ideas around at your own volition. The twin you always wanted without the identity crisis.

I can see how having a physical manifestation of yourself conscious and by your side would alter the course of your life irrevocably. Would loneliness be quite so lonely? If a problem shared is a problem halved, would having a dæmon enable us to take on more? Or would having someone so intrinsically close to your heart, in tune with all your hopes and dreams, negate the need to keep close friends?

I suppose the latter depends on the definition of close friends. I’ve always tried to keep friends that balance me out, laid back where i would be highly strung and serious where i lack motivation. I feel that the function of a friend is fully utilised when expressed in that way. There’s a sense of ‘value added’ and a mutual potential positive gain that can be produced from the union.

But, where that is sensible, i can’t pretend that i haven’t or don’t currently have friends who i feel are very much like me in many ways, to the point of finishing sentences and claiming plagiarism on thoughts shared, and i find those friendships to be volatile, when they’re good they’re exhilarating, they can leave you tingling to the touch, but when they fall, they accelerate under a gravity that would cause a feather to weigh a tonne.

I suppose the best friendships are made up of a mixture of the two. The type where, from the outside the individuals appear as vague undefined forms of one entity, but from the inside are two strong clear individuals with, admittedly, a lot of mutual thoughts, ideas, beliefs and feelings, but each also bring to the tables most of what the other lacks with enough wiggle room to allow the pair to grow together whilst maintaining and sharing their own individual flair and perspectives. Surely the need for such companionship wouldn’t be negated by the existence of dæmons, but enriched by it, as the interaction between your dæmon and theirs would add a new dimension to the experience gained and memories made.

Philosophies aside, the best approximation i could make from taking many, many online spirit animal quizzes is that at this junction of my life my soul aligns to that of a wolf, whether this is pleasing or not, it’s subject to change, it’s not as if at any point we stop growing as people, so perhaps, the real-world approximation of a dæmon wouldn’t posses one true form at all, just a handful of frequent favourites. We’ve all at one point or another spent a day as a rat and another as an eagle, afterall. Or, i could just be a child waiting for things to finally fall into place.

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